The Biggest Lies in the Air Force…

Meanwhile At The Air Force - Military humor

  1. Base commander to the Inspector General: We’re glad you’re here.
  2. Inspector General to the base commander: We’re only here to help.
  3. Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
  4. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
  5. We will be on time, maybe even early.
  6. Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
  7. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
  8. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
  9. I’m a member of the mile high club.
  10. I only need glasses for reading.
  11. I broke out right at minimums.
  12. The weather is gonna be alright; it’s clearing to VFR.
  13. Don’t worry about the weight and balance — it’ll fly.
  14. If we get a little lower I think we’ll see the lights.
  15. We shipped the part yesterday.
  16. I’d love to have a woman co-pilot.
  17. All you have to do is follow the T.O.
  18. This plane outperforms the T.O. by 20 percent.
  19. The Air Force doesn’t work as hard as the other services.
  20. Oh sure, no problem, I’ve got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
  21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
  22. No need to look that up, I’ve got it all memorized.
  23. Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn’t it?
  24. Your plane will be ready by 2 o’clock.
  25. We fly every day — we don’t need recurrent training.
  26. It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
  27. I thought YOU took care of that.
  28. I’ve got the field in sight.
  29. I’ve got the traffic in sight.
  30. Of course I know where we are.
  31. I’m SURE the gear was down.
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