Some Phrases From Officer Efficiency Reports

Some Phrases From Officer Efficiency Reports

These are actual phrases from Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisal for the military officers). “Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.” “Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.” “A room temperature IQ.” “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.” “A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.” “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.” “A prime candidate for natural deselection.” “Bright as Alaska in December.” “One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.” “Donated his brain to…

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Marine Math

Marine Math

The Korean War, in which the Marine Corps fought and won some of its most brutal battles, was not without its gallows humor. During one such conflict a ROK ( Republic of Korea ) commander, whose unit was fighting along with the Marines, called legendary Marine, General Chesty Puller, to report a major Chinese attack in his sector. “How many Chinese are attacking you?” asked Puller. “Many, many Chinese!” replied the excited Korean officer. General Puller asked for another count and got the same answer “Many, many, many Chinese!” “X*#d*mmit!”…

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A New Recruit Went Out On His First Sentry Duty

A New Recruit Went Out On His First Sentry Duty

The officer of the day, during his tour of duty, paused to question a sentry who was a new recruit. “If you should see an armed party approaching, what would you do?” asked the officer. “Turn out the guard, sir.” “Very well. Suppose you saw a battleship coming across the parade-ground, what would you do?” “Report to the hospital for examination, sir,” was the prompt reply.

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Parachute Failure

Parachute Failure

A US army 2nd Lt is making his first jump. He exits the aircraft and his static line fails to deploy his chute, he calmly pulls his reserve, and nothing happens. The young Lt panics as he realizes he didn’t pay enough attention to his instructors. As he is falling he sees a shape coming at him from the ground. As it gets closer he sees that it is a man. It is the BN mess Officer! The young Lt yells “Sir do you know anything about parachutes???” The mess…

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