Pilot Talking Rules

Pilot Talking Rules

The only three things a wingman should ever say are: “Two’s up.” “Lead, you’re on fire.” “I’ll take the fat chick.” And in a multi-place aircraft, there are only three things the copilot should ever say: “Nice landing, Sir.” “I’ll buy the first round.” “I’ll take the fat chick.” A new copilot on a bomber is only to say these three things and to otherwise keep his mouth shut and not touch anything: “Clear on the right.” “Outer (marker) on the double” (indicator) “I’ll eat the chicken.” (Crew meals consisted…

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Pilots’ Hell

Pilots’ Hell

A MAC pilot died at the controls of his plane and went to pilots’ hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors. The devil was busy escorting other pilots to various “hell rooms.” “I’ll be right back–don’t go away,” said the devil, and he vanished. Sneaking over to the first door, he peeked in and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned to forever run through preflight checks. He slammed that door and peeked into the second. There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while a pilot…

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