A private is on duty in the motor pool when the phone rings:
“Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for use immediately?”
The voice on the other end asked. “Well, sir, we have two tanks, a half dozen half-tracks, two armored personnel carriers, a couple of motorcycles, and fat-ass Johnson’s command jeep.”
“Soldier? Do you know who you are speaking to?”
“This is Major Johnson, your commander!”
“Uh Sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?”
“That’s good! Bye, Fat-Ass!