The Prayers Of Officers

The Prayers Of Officers

One day, three O-6s were hiking together and unexpectedly came upon a wide, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. The Air Force Colonel called out to God, praying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.” POOF! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across. It did, however, take him more than an hour and he almost drowned a couple of times. Seeing this, the Army Colonel…

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Reaction To Snakes

Reaction To Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming. • Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake. • Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes. • Infantry: “Look, a putty cat. Come ‘ere kitty….Ouch! Hey, that’s not a putty tat.” • Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can’t find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called “The Snake.” • Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it. Used tank for road rage cartoon • 2nd Ranger: Assaults the…

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An Army Major Visits The Sick Soldiers…

An Army Major Visits The Sick Soldiers…

An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: “What’s your problem, Soldier?” “Chronic syphilis, Sir” “What treatment are you getting?” “Five minutes with the wire brush each day.” “What’s your ambition?” “To get back to the front, Sir.” “Good man.” says the Major. He goes to the next bed. “What’s your problem, Soldier?” “Chronic piles, Sir” “What treatment are you getting?” “Five minutes with the wire brush each day.” “What’s your ambition?” “To get back to the front, Sir.” “Good man.” says the Major….

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The Biggest Lies in the Air Force…

The Biggest Lies in the Air Force…

Base commander to the Inspector General: We’re glad you’re here. Inspector General to the base commander: We’re only here to help. Me? I’ve never busted minimums. I have no interest in flying for the airlines. We will be on time, maybe even early. Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons. All that turbulence spoiled my landing. I’m a member of the mile high club. I only need glasses for reading. I broke…

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